It’s been fascinating reading Marta’s memoirs and all the comments. I got involved in SY in 1997, and was active until 2002. It’s been an interesting journey from the beginning. I’m one of those people who, if I hadn’t been married, would have chucked it all and gone to live at the ashram. I’m also a die-hard Doubting Thomas, which explains why, after five years, I was gone.

A book I highly recommend is “Spiritual Enlightenment…The Damnedest Thing,” by Jed McKenna. It’s may not be for everyone, but I thought it was hilarious (my copy is falling apart) and brought a lot of things into perspective. One of the first things Jed (no one’s sure who or what he is) talks about is the need to know the success rate of any spiritual organization you join…how many of their followers have entered abiding non-dual awareness? If they’re not up to their butts in enlightened people after 30 years and flooding the world with them, wouldn’t you think there’s a fatal flaw somewhere? It’s the first question Consumer Reports would ask.

I remember reading in Ram Butler’s course that there may be as many as 50 – that’s right 50 - Siddhas in SY. I got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. After how many years and how many people, there were only 50 Siddhas? What chance did I have, someone starting from ground zero in her fifties? Of course, a friend who had been in SY 20 years longer than I thought that was fabulous. Whatever floats your boat.

I have no idea if any of them – Baba, Young Nit, GM, whoever – were and/or are enlightened. I have no idea, even though I’ve seriously experienced it, what shaktipat actually is…all these mystical experiences. We actually can’t know anything, because there is no truth to be found here in Maya’s Palace of Delusion. Let it all go, scream it out, beat it out, purge it, whatever, and move on with your life…it may be the only one “you” (a dream character) will ever have.